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by Alex Ogle

It started as a throwaway comment. A random observation chucked willfully into the ether. But then it compelled me to more thought. Some of the seats at the movie theaters in Santiago are damned comfortable!

Not all of them, but the ones that are. Man. I've been to a couple of movie theaters in Santiago now. I've experienced seats that are wonky. Some sit you up bolt upright, like you're you're riding the NY A-train and some sweaty bearded man walks on with a big coat and looks at you all serious, right in your eyes. Something enough to make you straighten your spine, is what I'm getting at. That's what some of the seats are like.

Nearly all of them squeak, so that every movement you make feels as if you've crapped in someone's lap as they try to enjoy the movie. Maybe its the polite English in me. I mean, I just feel awkward to move. It's as if some sweaty bearded man has walked on behind you with a big coat and.... well, you know where that's going.

But hot damn! Some of the movie seats in this town are the comfiest seats you'll find south of the Rio Grande.

I've sat in seats around the world. Its a favorite past time of mine. Go somewhere: sit down. Enjoy the view. Read a book. Maybe lean back a bit. Not to much, but just enough to get a perfect angle of balance. But thats a tangent; we're talking school chairs there.

Good seats are something to savour. The US Amtrak seats are good. High-class, long-range Mexican buses make for a lovely night's snooze. I remember a bundle of cushions were heaven for about 7 hours one time overlooking the bay of Penang many years ago. You sink in. You are enveloped.

I went to see The Assassination of Richard Nixon a couple-a weeks ago in one of the downtown theaters. In Spanish they called it "Dias de Furia," which obviously bears absolutely no resemblance to the real name. The cinema listings in the newspaper didn't even mention the White House. Or that the main guy's big crazy plan was to fly a plane into the White House.

It said "Sean Penn has a mid-life crisis, as his marriage to Naomi Watts falls apart."

No psychotic flip against the system. No rage, no anger or anything about illusions of grandeur. It didn't even mention Penn attempting to join the Black Panthers. Maybe my fumbling gropes at Latino lingo leave something to be desired. But regardless, I can assure you it was the worst movie preview of all time.

So you can imagine my double-whammy ecstasy as I dropped into my seat. Not only was the movie not a flimsy excuse for a "marriage crisis flick," but the seats made my toes tip and my man-nipples flop. It was luxurious living in a sit down position. You had all the space you needed, and the best part? They reclined.

I may be a poor farmer's only son who's used to eating cow shod and mud-pie for my brunch. Okay, I'm not. But still, I've never been in a movie theater where the seats reclined. Have you? I doubt it. Even if you say you have, I wouldn't believe it. I'm the cynical type, and if anyone had told be there's such a thing as reclinable-movie-theater-seats-that-are-also-hell-comfy I would've punched you in the face out of pure reflex. It's like someone saying they don't like whales. Everyone likes whales, so shut up.

In short: best sitting down experience ever. In front of a big screen and surround sound? I mean...come on.

If you were looking for a lame reason to choose a country to visit, and you stumbled upon someone raving about the capital city's incredible seating in their cinemas, then here it is. And it's not even all the cinemas. We've been over this. Come to think of it, it might just have been that one, that singular paradise-for-your-lower-back experience which the builders put in as some sort sick-ass joke. Ha bloody ha. Who's laughing now? That's right: Me. And I'm comfortable too.

It was the money-shot of chairs. Believe it, or shut up.

More on Movie Theaters in Santiago, Chile Chileno provides reviews.